Hey, look, this post is not about cancer!…

or at least not entirely.  Here is is, Friday July 25th, and I will be driving away from Madison in just a few hours.  It has been a long hard last week in this city we love.

I haven’t slept much in the last few days.  Busy saying my “not goodbyes”.  getting together with many of our friends just one last time.  And then getting together with those friends, just for a minute, because it was too hard to walk away the day before. 

Busy cleaning cleaning cleaning our little house.  It paid off, the house looked great as the Lord’s van pulled out of the driveway, loaded with all the rest of our stuff. 

Busy getting the rats set up in their new home.  Poor little things, they were stressed.  They are so cute.  and as crazy as it might be, I will miss those little guys.  (thanks Nancy and Don for taking care of them).

Busy getting the shipping made for Entropy’s eventual return to Alaska. 

Busy on the phone and computer getting stuff figured out for Dave, and updating friends and family on the goings on.

Today that is all done.

Today I will just be busy crying.

Munga tusen tak…

my mom says this little phrase means “many thousand thanks” or “thanks very much” in Norse. 

So I say to you all “munga tusen tak”.

A thousand thanks for all the prayers and emails and phone calls and visits and treats and kid watching and and and…

The first week is over, and it was made bearable by your support. 

I can’t begin to name each and everyone, (it’s like an Oscar speech), but I am going to try.

Thank you:

Wendy, Jen, Cathy, Jim, Annie, Alex, Craig, Roy, Lynda, Linda, Gloria, Don, Tod, Carrie,Laura, Barb, Layne, Kathie, Mom, Dad, Roy, Carol, Lucy, Bryan, Denny, Kenny, Carol, Mirelia, Joy, Brad, Jean, Lisa, Ann-Britt, Phil, Candy, Sheryl, Arlene, Bob, Dave, Joy, Lynn, Roland, Brenda, Becky, Janet, Sandy, Shawn, Ashley, Quincy,  Layne, Sheeba, Gloria, Nancy, Lawrence, Justine, Michael, Laura, Emily, Pam, Meredith, Dennis, Hans, Lili, Roy, Dorothy, Verlie, Valoris, Michelle, Nancy, Trudy, Lowell, Deb, Debby, Elrene, Kris, Ken, Anna, Kathleen, Cherie, Doug, Rachel, Doug, Jason, Julie, Jim, Erich, Margie, Jessica, Melissa, Leora, Irwin, Mark, Paul, Paul, Dave, Megan, Kim, Dan, Christmas, Fuller, Howard, Edy, Dawn, Joel, Bob, April, Harry, Cherie, Julia, Butch, Theresa, St. Pauls Lutheran, Arbor Covenant, Mat-Su Covenant, Plymouth Covenant, Dale Heights Presbyterian, churches from Alaska to Mexico to Tennesee, countless people I have never met have been in prayer for us. 

This outpouring of love and concern has been humbling and amazing and awe-inspiring and wonderful. 

Munga Tusen Tak.

I can breathe again…

at least until Monday.

Dave met with the colo-rectal surgeons yesterday.  And the news is good, mostly.  This has been caught early.  This is still serious.  He will have more tests today, more biopsies will be taken and this time those little tissue samples will get shipped all over for further evaluation.  There will be some genetic testing done, some more pathology and who knows what else.

After all the results get in, and after the surgeon has a chance to take another look inside Dave’s plumbing, we will know more.  Dave will meet with the Dr. on Monday to discuss results and treatments. 

So, we don’t know all I would like to know, but we know a little more. 

The surgeon was quick to assure Dave that this is not life-threatening.  And just about as quick to assure Dave that this is most certainly life-altering. 

Who knows exactly what that means.  Maybe altered means we just wake up everyday singing like the birds.  Maybe altered means we now won’t ever forget to praise God for His faithfulness. (wouldn’t that be great!).  More likely it means that Dave will have his rectum removed and sometimes we will both be mad that things are different, wondering why it has to be.

But really, overall, altered sounds great.  I am all for altered. Having Dave, a little less of him than before, is sure a lot better than the thought of having no Dave at all.

I know that the next few months won’t be easy.  There will be a lot of Dr appointments.  Lots of questions.  Lots of less than perfect days.  Lots of emotions.  Lots of pain. 

So, don’t take us off your prayers lists just yet…

Calmer today…

I am calmer today.  Thursday was bad, really, really bad.  Friday was only mostly bad.  Saturday was mildly bad.  So far, today.  Not so bad.

We have talked to the medical folks in Anchorage that will be taking care of Dave and they have been beyond kind. 

Dave will go in on Tuesday for further testing and at that point they will get a better idea of what stage the cancer is at.  Initial reports look like it is still early, and we continue to pray that is what is determined this coming week. 

We will know more after Tuesday.  What the course of treatment will be, what the pronosis is, what to expect a little. 

My folks came down to Madison and were with me on Thursday.  That was great.  They took Sunny back to Minnesota with them, and I am really thankful for that.  She will get to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa, as well as see her cousins.  She is too little to really understand what is going on, or why her mom keep crying. 

The boys and I continue with life here for the next few days.  Cleaning the house, playing with friends, swimming at the pool.  This move has been hard on them anyway, no reason to make the last few days here terrible. 

Please keep praying.  For Dave, the kids, me, that the next steps of our move would go smoothly, that our car will make it up there safely, and our few pieces of furniture.  (I know I am not supposed to care about the “worldly possessions” right now, and I don’t really care about those particular possessions, I just want to have something to sit on in Alaska, and sleep on, getting old and the floor is not quite as appealing).

I will update as we have more information.

I promise to blog about the fun stuff too.  Maybe later today.

Trying hard to trust…

On Monday, Dave had a colonoscopy.  He had been having some issues for a while and his doctor had been running a bunch of tests to figure out what was going on. 

Crohns’ disease was ruled out, Celiac was ruled out, he cut down on caffeine, etc etc.  A prescription for something or another seemed to help a bit, but not enough. 

So the colonoscopy.  And about 20 tissue samples taken for biopsy. 

Today we got the results, and it is cancer. 

that is not a word I ever wanted to hear in conjunction with my husband. 

And I am really angry.  And scared.  And sad.  And overwhelmed. 

And thankful, for in the last 12 hours the outpouring of love, from Wisconsin, to Minnesota, to Alaska has been amazing. 

And I tell you, I need it right now. 

This move has already been hard for me.  I am so torn, between those I love here, and those I love in Alaska.  So yesterday, when the movers drove away with all our stuff packed into a big truck, I cried. 

To have this news, CANCER, come just a few short hours later, it is just too much.

And yet, I know, God is in control.  And I need to trust.  And I am trying.

Pray. for peace, healing, my faith.

Pray.  for my kids, Dave’s folks, my folks.

Communion, tears…

Yesterday at church it was all I could do not to sit and sob the entire service.  It was Communion Sunday, the first Sunday of the month.  This Sunday was special, and sweet.  Both our boys chose to receive the Sacrament for the first time.  It’s a big step.  A public declaration of their faith, as they understand it.

I was so glad they chose to do this, and at this particular church, which has been so much our home. 

As I waited for them to go up for Communion, the dam broke, and I couldn’t keep the tears at bay. 

We love this church.  Our friends and our pastor-friends (Cathy and Jim), have been such a comfortable fit.  We have been welcomed and loved without reservation.  It has been a wonderful 2 years.  Far too short. 

So that is why I cried.  Happy for my boys.  Sad for myself, my family. 

Because I don’t know when we will again get to share this Sacrament, this expression of our faith, with these friends.

Kid pile…

More proof that my kid has his priorities right on…

or more likely proof that I have lots and lots of work to do as a parent.

Today, at dinner, we were having a family discussion about sports and the Olympics and what Olympic success would bring. 

There were the usual answers:  a sense of accomplishment.  a sense of pride.  the thrill of being the “best in the world”.  endorsement deals.  book contracts.

But the best was:  “a lot of women would be attracted to you if you were famous” (take a guess which kid said that!)

It took a while to clean up all the milk that spewed from my nose.

Just so none of you get too worried, we did finish the discussion, and talked about what is really important.  you know, sports cars, big bank accounts, private jets.