Trying hard to trust…

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On Monday, Dave had a colonoscopy.  He had been having some issues for a while and his doctor had been running a bunch of tests to figure out what was going on. 

Crohns’ disease was ruled out, Celiac was ruled out, he cut down on caffeine, etc etc.  A prescription for something or another seemed to help a bit, but not enough. 

So the colonoscopy.  And about 20 tissue samples taken for biopsy. 

Today we got the results, and it is cancer. 

that is not a word I ever wanted to hear in conjunction with my husband. 

And I am really angry.  And scared.  And sad.  And overwhelmed. 

And thankful, for in the last 12 hours the outpouring of love, from Wisconsin, to Minnesota, to Alaska has been amazing. 

And I tell you, I need it right now. 

This move has already been hard for me.  I am so torn, between those I love here, and those I love in Alaska.  So yesterday, when the movers drove away with all our stuff packed into a big truck, I cried. 

To have this news, CANCER, come just a few short hours later, it is just too much.

And yet, I know, God is in control.  And I need to trust.  And I am trying.

Pray. for peace, healing, my faith.

Pray.  for my kids, Dave’s folks, my folks.

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About Sandie

A little background: A mother of 3, two boys and a girl. Married young to a good man. No longer young, but he is still a good man. Grew up in the suburbs of Minneapolis, lived several years in small town Alaska, spent a couple years in the city of Madison, currently residing not too far from down town Anchorage. Drink a crazy amount of coffee. Fiercely loyal to my friends. Truly rabid in my defense of family. Beyond thankful that my God loves me enough to allow me to doubt and question.

6 responses »

  1. I’m blown away and feel like there’s nothing I can say, I don’t know what to say. We are thrilled to be able to see you again, all the while knowing that you are grieving the move away from dear ones. You have been one of my very, very favorite people for so long and my heart aches that you will have to walk through this now, on top of an emotionally draining move. I wish you didn’t have to add a category for “cancer” on your blog. I wish I had magic words to make the move hurt less, to make Dave well.

    I will pray.

  2. Sandie,
    I just wanted you to know that I started praying as soon as I got the news yesterday. I also called my parents to have them start praying. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. Wish we lived closer…….Lots of Love, Lynda

  3. Sandie,
    A lot of people will soon be telling you how strong you are to face this. Sometimes you will not like to hear that, as you may not feel strong….rather you have no choice….be strong or curl up on the closet floor (because you have no furniture). But you are strong, because IT IS GOD WHO ARMS ME WITH STRENGTH (Ps. 18:32). Use God’s strength when yours is gone. Use other’s strength because everyone wants to help. You’re all very loved.

  4. Oh my goodness, Sandie, I am praying my heart out. I really don’t have any words….just know you are all in my thoughts and prayers…and I am trusting Our Healer with you and believing Him for Dave’s complete healing.

  5. I checked your blog thinking you might have arrived in AK only to discover Dave’s bad news. I am very sorry that you are going through this on top of the emotion of moving. I’m sure you’ll find an inner strength that you didn’t know you have and you’ll cope and learn from the experience. Good luck to all of you as the tests and procedures continue.

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