Monthly Archives: July 2014

2 years today…

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Dave landed in Tulsa to begin our Oklahoma adventure. 2 weeks later the kids and I joined him.

The move was so so so hard. So hard. The first months were spent mired in self pity, it was too hot, I had no friends, my kids had no friends, Dave was never ever home. Even church, which had always been home no matter where we lived, was hard. And it was so hot.

I spent many many days while the kids were at school walking around Tulsa, big sunglasses to hide my always on the verge of tears eyes. And when I couldn’t walk anymore, I would head back to the house and sit on the couch, cry and then nap.

Slowly things began to change. The kids started to make friends and that gave me hope. The weather started to change, and my neighbors came out of their houses, sitting in the evening on their wonderful porches and inviting us to join them.

Dave fell into a rhythm within his job and was home more.

And I found things to fill my time, volunteering in the classroom, volunteering in the community, a mom’s group, lunches with Anne (who graciously let me cling desperately to that thread of early friendship).

By the time 1 year had passed, I had moved through the stages of grief that seem to follow me in all our moves. I still missed our friends and family in, our life, in Alaska, I no longer burst into sobs when I saw a picture of a mountain. I was learning to truly appreciate what I had been telling my family for months to learn to love.

I forced my family into road trip after road trip, and they loved it.

Anne now shares the burden of my friendship with a few wonderful and fun women.

I have a job that I enjoy, with hard working and caring coworkers and that keeps me from sleeping the days away in a dark funk.

Church is still hard, we have made some dear friends there, but overall, it’s a very square peg/round hole kind of thing. This is painful and often feels like rejection, not just for me, but of many of our choices as a family. We are using this to evaluate what we can both offer to, and need from, a church home.

It’s still really really hot, at least this time of year, but even that is not so scary now, I am learning to look forward to the sweat, because goodness knows, all the sweating and my skin has never looked this good!

So 2 years in, Oklahoma is truly home. Whether we stay here forever, or if we move again, right now there is nowhere I would rather be.